Anticipation

I'm breathing deeply and sitting quietly with my feet up... you see, it's finally the weekend. There were times this week I thought I couldn't possibly last until Friday evening. And yet, a lot has been accomplished. A few projects were crossed off the big list. It feels good. 

There is nothing planned for tomorrow. I'm not anticipating anything special, but that's the beauty of it. Anything could happen. I could sleep all day and maybe get rid of my cold. Or, I might wake up early and tackle work around the house with ambitious abandon. Whatever transpires, I expect that tomorrow is all mine... no outside commitments.

I grew up with high value placed on anticipating... the art of being prepared to act or thinking ahead to what might be required and having it ready. Sort of like an OR nurse reading the surgeon's mind and slapping the right instrument into his hand a second before he can ask for it.

In my case, it was a tool ready for home renovation projects. I was well-trained as the go-for girl when Dad needed help in building bedrooms or fixing the car. I have more fun shopping in Canadian Tire and Home Depot than clothing shops. I like to say that I'm just knowledgable enough to be dangerous if I should try to repair something on my own. However, thanks to Dad, I do know how to anticipate. It's served me well in my career, even if I do come off as a smarty-pants at times.

Anticipating can also get me into trouble when it's mixed with a bit of fear and pessimism. My Grandma was good at anticipating, except it was really called worrying. She ALWAYS prepared for the worst and chewed on the bad things that might happen with a bit of a grim countenance. We could get her to laugh at herself for this habit, but mostly she had trouble trusting for the future.

In many ways, I've got a good bit of Grandma in me. It's tough for me to anticipate that the mail will bring cheques instead of bills or that the Doctor will say I'm healthy instead of ill. It's easier to fear and assume that bad things will happen.

God doesn't want me to think this way. It limits my faith and my dreams and my prayers. That kind of living also shows my lack of trust in His power and presence. As His child, I can rely on His sovereignty. He knows the plans He has for me - plans to prosper me and not to harm me, plans to give me hope and a future. What a great thought for all my tomorrows!