What happens when you don't blog for a month? Or more? Does the blog cease to exist? Do you stop having thoughts? Or do you just lack time and energy to record those brainwaves?
I think it's a combination of all those things. Life's pace overwhelmed me. My thoughts were all over the place. Maybe that's when I should have splashed them on this blog. But I needed to process some things in private.
Last week an inspirational email talked about BMWs. Only it wasn't the cars. It was the Bitching Moaning Whiners. We're to avoid those BMWs to preserve our mental energy. I think I should have been avoiding myself! I've done way too much whining this past while. Too tired. Too busy. No time. No sleep. No friends. Yuck. It's a wonder I haven't driven everyone away.
Focusing on the negative and trying to figure out how to manage my life has taken my eyes off of God. Self-centredness and independence might have killed me.
Looking back, I see that my life has generally been this busy. I've had a ton of responsibilities ever since high school. I've enjoyed it. I like to use my gifts and talents in the community. I function fairly well with little sleep and at high pace. I'm blessed with friends and so much more.
This is not to say that I shouldn't find or achieve balance. I should. It's necessary. Steps can be taken to improve my quality of life. So far, they are baby steps, but still... not long ago I wouldn't even have contemplated needing a balance.
A TV evangelist reminded me today to "Let God be God!" Good advice. I'm not in charge of the world, nor do I have to worry about the future.
In three days I'm looking at a short vacation and time with family. Time with God, enjoying His creation. He wants me to rest in Him. I intend to make this a time of refreshing and renewal and a recommitment to growing closer to my Saviour. That should make for a Beth More Winsome.
